10 Rules for Survival in a Cozy Mystery World
1. Move to a small town where everyone will know your business.
2. Don't open a restaurant, bakery, cafe, or food business. Someone is going to die, and you'll be the main suspect.
3. Don't plan a wedding, a party, or a wedding shower. The hateful mother-in-law, ex-partner, obnoxious person will show up, cause a scene, and die.
4. Don't argue with the handsome stranger. He's the local cop, sheriff, FBI agent, who will investigate you as a suspect before falling in love with you.
5. That stray cat or dog? You might not have wanted a pet, but it's yours now, and it can solve mysteries or point to clues.
6. Your best friend? By the second or third book, they're a murder suspect.
7. Your lifetime childhood nemesis/enemy will still be antagonistic, and they're never the victim. However, at some time, you'll have to save them from prison or death. They will still be antagonistic.
8. Never charge your cell phone or take it with you when you go to an isolated park, island, woods. It wouldn't matter anyways. That's the one place that has limited cell phone coverage.
9 Speaking of that isolated park, island, woods, pond, pool, spa. Don't go there. You're going to find a body.
10. Don't argue with a boss, a chef, the news manager, the hotel manager, a real estate agent, your landlord, angry business owners, or your lover. It's all over social media. You'll lose your job and have to relocate to a small town and start a business. (See Rule #1)
Thank you to my sister, Christie, first one to know about The 10 Rules for Survival in a Cozy Mystery World, and the one who made a few suggestions. (Don't worry. The sister is often a suspect, but never the victim.)